Hey, Daddy. *Hiccups*
*scoffs* Jeffy, what do you want?
I was wondering *hiccups* if I can go in the bathroom *hiccups* and slam my pee pee in the toilet seat. *hiccups*
*scoffs* Jeffy, you have the hiccups.
The hiccups? *hiccups* Why? *hiccups*
I don't know, they just come randomly, but they're really annoying. I hate them.
*hiccups*
Jeffy, stop doing that!
*hiccups* Jeffy: "I can't help it, daddy!" (Yeah, Mario. Dummy) *hiccups* Well, go over there and do it, I don't wanna hear them.
*hiccups*
*sighs*
*silence* (Uh oh, Jeffy. What are you about to do?)
*hiccups*
Jeffy!
Why?
Okay, we have to get rid of the hiccups, uh... just hold your breath for a very long time.
Hold my breath? *hiccups* Why?
Just hold your breath and that will make them go away, just hold your breath until you can't breath anymore.
*muffled hiccups*
Keep holding your breath.
Just keep holding your breath.
Okay you can breath, you-
Jeffy! Jeffy! Breathe! You can breathe, Jeffy! Oh no!
*sobs*
He lies Jeffy. An innocent kid that died, because his dad forced him to hold his breath.
[Chilly And Titototter turn their back on Logan]
*screams* That can't happen! That can't happen! Jeffy, come on! CPR!
*grunting*
*gasps*
You're alive, Jeffy!
Thanks, daddy. *hiccups*
Your hiccups aren't gone Jeffy.
Nuh-uh. *hiccups*
Ok that's it I'm going to call a doctor and he's going to help get rid those.
Because I can't stand them. They're annoying.
*hiccups* Ok, Daddy.
*hiccups*
Alright, what's the emergency?
Okay, My son has hiccups. *silence*
*hiccups* *silence*
*smack*
YOU CALLED A DOCTOR FOR HICCUPS?!
Ugh!
Are you kidding me? I could be doing surgery right now! I could be saving lives, not helping a kid with hiccups!
Yeah, Daddy! *hiccups*
*smack* (Wow, who's surprised he didn't get grounded for that?)
Jeffy, stop hitting me.
He has hiccups and I want 'em gone. What can we do?
Well, I don't know. I'm not a hiccups specialist.
There's a hiccups specialist?
Yeah. I know one.
Well, can you call him? I really need him.
Okay, yeah. Sure I'll call him. *hiccups*
Hey there. I'm the hiccups specialist. (Wow, what a liar)
It's me.
*hiccups*
You're a hiccups specialist?
Yeah. I went to 5 years at hiccup school.
*hiccups*
Are your parents proud of that?
(smacks) (Why did he do it that time?)
No. No, they are not.
*hiccups* (Why?)
How do you get rid of hiccups?
Well, first I'm going to look at Jeffy and see how bad these hiccups are.
*hiccups*
Okay.
Okay open your mouth, Jeffy say: aaaahhhh
Aaaahhhh....
*hiccups*
Really get up in there.
*hiccups*
Smells like pepperonis.
*hiccups*
Yeah.
Yeah, it's really bad case of hiccups.
*hiccups*
Well, how do you get rid of them?
Well, usually a case like this we have to scare him. It's a part of the seven stage process, so basically we're gonna have to-- BOO!!
*hiccups*
Yeah, it didn't work.
Alright, well if that didn't work, so I guess the only thing we gotta do now is... BOO!!!!
*hiccups*
Yeah, no, not quite.
Um, I'm gonna have to go up to my car and get a few things, um... BOO!!!
*hiccups*
Man, this kid's got nerves of steel.
Okay, so what's stage two?
Alright, well, stage two is basically... BOO!!!!
*hiccups*
Ugh, alright, it's not working.
Come on, come on follow me.
BOO!!! *imitates monster growls*
Come on!
Yeah, It's still nothing.
Jeffy, come on.
Okay, stage two is the balloon effect.
*hiccups*
Jeffy, take this balloon and hold it.
*hiccups*
Wait, a balloon?
Okay, you like that balloon, Jeffy?
Yeah, I like the balloon.
BOO!!!!! (Why would he be afraid of a baby? Unless it's a Circus Baby.)
*hiccups*
Aw man, I really thought this is gonna work.
What?
Alright, okay, stage 2. For real this time. You like that balloon Jeffy?
Yeah.
*POP!*
*hiccups*
Ugh, okay, on to stage 3.
Stage- alright come on, Jeffy.
Alright, so stage three is the "Angry Drunk Dad Coming Home from Work stage."
*hiccups*
It scares the kids every time.
Wait, what?
*moans* Sharon! Where's my dinner?
*glass beer bottle breaks*
Sharon! I got laid off at work today, Sharon! *grunts*
*mug breaks*
Sharon! What is this? Soggy Cookie Crisp for dinner again, Sharon? That's not healthy! *grunts*
*bowl shatters*
Where's my kid so I can yell at him? Don't make me get the mask. Boo! *groaning*
Did that work?
*hiccups* (No, but you made a mess in their house.)
-Ugh! -Alright, on to stage four.
Alright, so stage four is the Apple on the Head stage.
Wh- "Apple on the Head" stage?
Yeah, it's where we put an apple on Jeffy's head, and we shoot it off with a cross bow!
Wh- a crossbow!?
Yeah!
Isn't that dangerous?
Well, yeah it's dangerous. That's why it's scary!
Well, What happens if you miss?
Well, if I miss, the arrow goes to Jeffy and dies instantly. But, if I hit the apple, it'll be awesome!
Okay.
Alright, let me go get my goggles.
BOO!!!
*hiccups*
Ugh! Man, I'm gonna get them eventually.
*sighs* Alright, let's do this!
Okay.
Alright, let's shoot this apple!
Okay, Jeffy, are you ready?
Yeah. *hiccups* I'm ready. *hiccups*
Yeah, he's ready.
Okay. 3, 2, 1...
*arrow shoots* (What was that that fell onto the floor? Hopefully it wasn't a part of Jeffy.)
Jeffy, are you okay?
Um, yeah. *hiccups*
Ugh! He still has hiccups!
Well, he may still have hiccups, but look at that shot! Bullseye!
What are we gonna do with his hiccups?
*hiccups*
Yeah, and if you want more bad news, *grunts* I also put a hole in your wall.
WHAT!!??
Yeah, okay. On to stage five.
*hiccups*
A hole on my wa-
Alright, so stage five, we got a bomb here!
Wait, a bomb!?
Yeah! A bomb! And Jeffy has to deactivate it by cutting one of those wires, and if cuts the wrong one, it explodes and we all die! (Why not leave the building, wherever they are)
*hiccups*
Which one does he cut?
The black one!
*hiccups*
They're all black! (Black wires matter)
Yeah! I know, that's why it's scary! We gotta get rid of those hiccups!
*hiccups*
Okay, Jeffy. Choose a wire.
But, Daddy I don't know which one to pick. (Cut all of them, Jeffy)
Just choose a wire, Jeffy!
Uh, eeny meeny miney, uh, j-j-j-just pick that one!
*whimpers*
*snip*
*pop!*
Did it work? Did I scare you?
*hiccups*
Ugh! Aw, man!
Wh-wh-why didn't bomb go off?
Well, it's not a real bomb! It's just an Apple Watch taped to a firecracker taped to an XBOX power brick.
Oh.
Yeah, anyway, on to the next one!
*airplane soaring*
Alright, so to stage six, we're gonna push Jeffy out of a plane without a parachute!
*hiccups*
WHAT!?
Yeah! Hopefully the fear of hitting the ground and dying is gonna get rid of his hiccups!
*hiccups*
But what if he actually dies?
Oh, don't worry, he's not gonna die! Not as long as he hits the Twister mat! (But that's not flat, why not just fly the plane over acres of land covered with pillows?)
*hiccups* (Not "Unh" anymore)
Twister mat?
Yeah, you know, Twister? Like the board game?
Yeah!
As longs as he lands left hand red it will go red!
*hiccups*
WHAT!? (Yeah, what? He can land anywhere on the mat if he will be fine landing on the mat)
Alright, champ! Down you go! *grunts*
*screaming and hiccuping*
*smack*
Jeffy! Are you okay?
Well, he landed left hand on red. So I'd say that's a win in MY book.
But is his hiccups gone? (You say, "ARE his hiccups gone?" Grammar, Mario!)
*hiccups*
*sighs*
*sighs* What do we do now?
*hiccups*
Alright! It's time for STAGE SEVEN! THE WORST MOST SCARY THING THAT I CAN THINK OF!
What is that?
*hiccups*
Alright, everybody. Put your stuff on the counter and make sure it's open.
*slurps*
*hiccups*
Mm, that was good.
Alright, how much I owe you?
*beep, beep*
*hiccups*
$7.72
Okay, let me just get my wallet.
Wh-wait-wait, where's my wallet!?
I forgot my wallet. I must've left it at home!
Oh no! Oh no! How am I gonna pay for all this?
We already opened it, I drink- I drink wh-
What are we gonna do?
Do you have your wallet?
No, I don't have my wallet.
Oh no! What a scary situation! How are we gonna pay you? What do we do?
You leave.
How embarrassing! O-o-okay!
*sighs* Well, stage seven didn't work.
And that was the scariest thing I know. So, I don't know what to do now.
*hiccups*
Yeah, we tried all 7 stages. So, what do we do now?
Well, I hate to admit this, but I think Jeffy has incurable hiccups.
*hiccups*
Incurable hiccups?
*hiccups*
Yeah, I mean, I don't think there's cure for... BOO!!!
*hiccups*
Ugh! Alright, alright, I have to try it just one more time. I hate to say it, but I think Jeffy is just gonna have hiccups for the rest of his life.
*hiccups*
Daddy, I don't want hiccups for the rest of my life! *hiccups*
Get out of here! Stupid fly!
*screaming*
Come on, Jeffy. It's just a fly!
I know, Daddy, but it was really scary, and tried to eat my face!
Wait, Jeffy. I think his hiccups are gone.
Wh-wh-wh, really?
Yeah!
Jeffy, do you have hiccups?
Um, I don't think so.
Wh- I think that fly, it cures the hiccu- *hiccups*
What?
Wh- oh no! No please! Please do something! *hiccups*
*sighs* Alright, I'm gonna go get my crossbow. BOO!!!!! (Thanks for watching! Grammar Corrections and Commentary Captions by Magic Nathan 65. This was the most clean Modern SML Video yet. Tip for writing captions: please do not delete each other captions because that will probably lead to people fighting each other's captions and that is not good. Thank you)